Hello, I’m The Cedar’s air conditioner. You probably haven’t seen a lot of me, but there’s a reason for that. I’ve been trying in vain to keep this building cool, but the demands of 2009 are much greater than those of the 40s. Everyone complains about the poor polar bears being affected by global warming, but it’s affecting me too.
I have a lot to be proud of. I’ve been cooling this building since before some of you were born. Back then it was a movie theater, you know.
In my old age, I’m no longer able to function properly when temperatures reach the 80s and 90s. When it gets to be that hot, everyone should be at the beach anyway! The Cedar staff keeps me around for my good looks, though. You youngsters have never seen such a find piece of machinery.
Anyway, when I face the facts I know that my time at The Cedar is running out. I am 60 years old after all. I’m comfortable retiring early. This means, however, that The Cedar will be looking for my replacement. Finding an appliance of this caliber is not going to be cheap. These are hard vents to fill.
Kids these days are so reliant on air conditioning, or AC as they call it, and we want to keep you cool at The Cedar, even in the summertime. Your support will help fill the void left in my absence. They tell me you can even donate on the World Wide Web at www.thecedar.org/donate although I’m not quite sure what that is.
Thank you for your time,